When I sensed that God had released me from the pit, there were many things I expected to think & feel - and I did. Freedom to be who God made me without worrying about if other people will accept me and approve of me. No more feeling like everyone secretly dislikes me. Peace.
But there were aspects to my pit I didn't know about. And now that I'm free, I see how free I am.
Paul has had to work late every day this week. Normally I would feel upset about it. And deep down I would feel like he cared about work more than he cared about me or our family. I would fight these feelings, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, but they were definitely there. But this week has been different. No feeling unimportant. No accusing phone calls. ("You said you would be home an hour ago! Where are you?) No feeling sorry for myself. No anger. I was peaceful and supportive even when it wasn't convenient (having to pick up a daughter from ballet when I hadn't planned for it). None of my new response has anything to do with me. It's all from God. Because He pulled me out of my pit, I no longer fear and compete with my husbands' work. God does so many amazing things...even when we don't expect them!