One thing I don't think I was really prepared for as we began this adventure was how difficult the lack of meaningful interaction with other people, especially my husband, would be. Even though I came into this venture with few people I felt comfortable baring my heart and soul to, I did have a small group who I could talk to about many things. I still see many of those women, but in a different context. We laugh and have fun and maybe share about our kids or families. But we really don't share about our struggles or what God is doing in our lives. Which is not really a new pattern of interaction. We just don't have our small group study time to spark the deeper issues.
And my husband is busier and tireder than I anticipated. It's so hard to find time when we can talk- when he is home and awake and the girls are asleep. (Their rooms are close enough to our living room to eavesdrop!) This journey is taking so much out of him spiritually and emotionally that he is always tired.
And I miss group Bible studies. I used to do Beth Moore type studies on Sunday nights until we began our small group. Then I tried going to a morning study. That was too hard to work out with homeschooling, so I didn't continue. Then I tried the Wednesday night study. This was a good fit until Paul began a college Bible study on Wednesday nights and couldn't help with the girls.
With our crazy schedule, I hate taking another evening off from family time. And mornings I need to be home to teach my girls. I've not heard of an afternoon study in my area. (Actually, I've don't think I've ever seen an afternoon Bible study.)
I don't know where that leaves me...I don't know that there is an easy answer...I know the right answer is that I'm going to let Jesus be my best friend and trust Him to provide for all my friendship needs either directly or by bringing people alongside me. That's the right answer, but right now I don't know if it's the REAL answer. But I want it to become the real answer. Maybe that's enough for now.